Administrator: Intruder alert! A RED Spy is in the base!
Zoom out to BLU Soldier Ditzy viewing the Alarm-o-Tron. (You may mentally insert whatever amuses you on the unlit signs.)
Ditzy: A RED Spy is in the base?!
Cut to two wall-mounted weapon holders. One of them has a sniper rifle, and the one just below it has a shotgun. Cool music starts as a gray hoof grabs the shotgun.
Cut again to a lower-body shot of Ditzy thumping down a metal staircase while blue alarm lights go off. She stumbles a little (camera gets a full view of her), but recovers quickly, adjusting her helmet.
Administrator: Protect the briefcase!
Ditzy (heading down a hallway): We gotta protect the briefcase!
Rainbow (offscreen): Yo! Little help here?
Whip-pan to BLU Rainbow Scout trying to tug open a door marked “Briefcase Room”. Back view of Ditzy as she approaches, switching to a front view when she speaks.
Ditzy: OK, I got it, I got it. Move over, Rainbow Dash. *shoves Rainbow to one side, earning a Death Glare from the other pegasus*
Close-up of the keypad above the door handle, your standard zero-through-nine layout.
Ditzy (continued, poking it in): One, one, one, uhh…*hoof trembles for a minute*
Front view. Rainbow now has her Sandmare out (you can tell that’s what it is by the strip of black cloth around the end)
Ditzy (triumphant): One! *sound of the door unlocking*
Rainbow: Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!
Zoom in on Big Macintosh galloping down that same hallway, minigun out.
Brief shot of Rainbow and Ditzy looking absolutely terrified. Camera switches to the other side of the door. Big Macintosh shatters the damn thing (causing both mares to do a flip of some description as they enter), and both he and Rainbow are screaming their fool heads off. (cool music fades abruptly) He stops at a table bearing a blue briefcase. Rainbow’s hoof grabs it, and she pulls herself up.
Rainbow: Hey, it’s still here!
Macintosh: AAAaaalright, then. *lowers Paula Red, shrugs*
Sound of a classy mare clearing her throat. Macintosh steps aside. Dramatic close-up of the BLU Spy (Rarity) in the doorway, carrying somepony’s body over her back (details hidden for now). Before she speaks, she straightens up a bit.
Rarity: Gentlemares? (casts a quick glance somewhere to her right)
<cue title card.>
Rarity shifts her weight a little to better carry the body. She enters the room, heading for the table (camera follows her and zooms out). Macintosh and Ditzy approach her, perhaps to get a better view. (Rainbow has completely stood up by this time)
Rarity: I see the briefcase is safe?
Ditzy: Safe and sound.
Rainbow: Yeah, um, duh?
Rarity (ignoring that): Good, good. Tell me, did anypony happen to kill a RED Spy on their way here? (Rainbow shrugs, Ditzy strokes her chin thoughtfully) No? *horn lights up, body levitates just a little bit* Then we still have a problem.
Close-up: She magically slams the corpse—now revealed to be Twilight Sniper’s—on the table. Twilight has no hat and a butterfly knife sticking out of her back. Dramatic chord.
Ditzy: And a knife!
Rainbow (mocking): Ooooh, big problem. (body shot—she takes the bloodstained knife out of Twilight’s back) I’ve killed plenty of Spies. *starts spinning it* They’re bit-a-dozen backstabbing fleabags—*indicating Rarity* Like you! *cuts herself on the blade and drops it* Ow! Uh, no offense.
POV shot; Rarity picks up the butterfly knife with her telekinesis.
Rarity (spinning and closing it expertly): If you managed to kill them, I assure you they were not like me. *places the knife back in Rainbow’s hoof. Camera follows her as she walks toward a giant wall-map.* And nothing, nothing like the mare loose inside this building!
Switch to Rainbow standing in front of Ditzy and Macintosh.
Rainbow (not buying it): What are you, president of her fan club?
The other two snigger. Shot of Rarity turning to face Rainbow.
Rarity: No. *producing a manila folder from nowhere* That would be your father.
Close-up: Same dramatic chord as Rarity slaps the folder, stamped “TOP SECRET – RAINBOW’S DAD,” onto the table. [a/n: if you look closely, you’ll see that the folder in the original is stamped “SCOUT’S MOM”] Photos of the RED Spy (other-Rarity) and a blue pegasus stallion in…compromising positions (and one of them holding hooves in a parking lot) slide out. Rapid close-ups on a few of the compromising ones over Rainbow’s line. (amusingly, other-Rarity still has her mask on)
Rainbow (terror/disgust): What the—? When did she—what—how did—gah—*sputters incoherently*
Shot of her trying to comprehend the pictures, with Ditzy and (sort of) Macintosh looking on.
Rarity: Indeed. *camera focuses on her, she makes emphatic gestures on this line* And now she’s here to [squee] us! So pay attention, Rainbow—*smacks Rainbow, readies her disguise kit*
Shot of Rainbow glaring daggers at Rarity. She turns back to the photos and paws frantically through them over Rarity’s next words. James Bond-esque music starts playing softly, increasing in volume as the scene goes on.
Rarity (continued): —, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today.
Big Macintosh and Ditzy Doo have somehow gotten their hooves on three of those things. Macintosh nudges Ditzy and shows her the one he’s got.
Ditzy: Ooo! Heh-heh-heh. *leans in. Rainbow notices*
Camera again focuses on Rarity, with the other three still visible in the background. Rainbow swipes the offending images from Big Macintosh and Ditzy Doo.
Rainbow (trying to preserve her dignity): Gimme those!
Rarity takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
Rarity (turning her head partway towards the camera): The Spy has already breached our defenses…
BGM reaches its full volume. Scene fades to a lower-body shot of the RED Spy cantering down a different hallway. We see all of her shadow, which serves to improve the drama.
Cut to her concealing herself behind some metal support thing with a couple holes in it. (And yes, she does go onto her hind legs just so she can properly lift the revolver in front of her face.) The end of the tunnel shows a dusty landscape; presumably, this is a secret pathway in Dustbowl or something. Anyway, a few beeps catch the camera’s attention. Zoom out and sort of sideways to reveal BLU Applejack proudly monitoring a level three sentry gun (facing the wrong way, I must point out.)
Undeterred, other-Rarity crouches a bit and magically slides her Electro-Sapper along the floor. Camera follows it as it travels, then pans up when it reaches the base of the sentry. Neon blue sparks quickly cover the sentry, and we hear a lot of fizzing/crackling noises. Applejack wisely (?) shields her eyes with one leg before the whole thing goes kablooey.
Applejack: Whoa! Sentry down!
Other-Rarity advances, wielding her revolver. Body shot: Applejack holds out her pistol threateningly, backing against a door with a sign labeled “AUTHORIZED PONIES ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT.”
Switch to the other side of the door (sign reading “KEEP THIS DOOR CLOSED”). We hear a gunshot, the door (now with a blood stain on that first side) opens, and Applejack’s lifeless body falls into the room, wherever it is. Other-Rarity aims her now-magically-supported revolver at some other place and fires again.
Back to the briefcase room, Rarity makes a sweeping gesture indicating Twilight’s body. Pan down to show lifeless, half-closed eyes behind aviators as she does so and speaks.
Rarity: …you see what she’s done to our colleagues…
Fade quickly to Twilight aiming through a gap between two wooden boards (Hightower?). Other-Rarity is behind her, unsheathing her butterfly knife. Twilight’s no fool, though, and she notices. She turns around and blocks said knife with her sniper rifle. The white unicorn hoof-punches her right into said boards. Camera follows Twilight’s right hoof as it grabs her kukri (you may insert whatever intrigues you on those files Sniper has in the original). She lunges at other-Rarity and gets in two (missed) slices before…
Close-up: the RED Spy slices Twilight’s left cheek, exposing her eyes. She touches the spot with a hoof and goes just a wee bit crazy. Other-Rarity dodges her wild swing and slices her across the front twice before finally backstabbing her, creating the wound we saw on her in the beginning. Final shot, Twilight falling to the floor as her new adversary brushes some imaginary dust from her lapels.
Cut to an even closer shot of Rarity. Camera circles around her Deadly Serious Face.
Rarity: …and worst of all, she could be any one of us.
Fade to BLU Fluttershy (strangely without the medigun apparatus) attacking other-Rarity with her bonesaw.
Fluttershy: Oh, no you don’t! *other-Rarity blocks the attacking leg and all but chicken-wings her* Ow, ow, ow!
Close up on the RED Spy’s face. It shimmers slightly orange, and she transforms into an exact duplicate of Fluttershy. Except for the skinny oval glasses. Switch to Fluttershy, who is now trying to back out of the lock and clearly terrified. (“Meep!”)
Zoom out: fake-Fluttershy karate chops real-Fluttershy in such a way that the latter’s glasses catapult into the air (slow-motion for that part). Body shot of fake-Fluttershy, who casually grabs the glasses from midair as real-Fluttershy collapses. Close in on her face as she puts them on.
Rarity (voice): She could be in this very room! (cuts back to her face mid-line. She’s a bit more terrified now.) It could be you! It could be me! (leans slightly in, making a point) It could even b—
BLAM! Rarity’s head explodes in a spray of blood and bone fragments (and the BGM abruptly stops playing). Switch to the headless body crumpling, with Ditzy still holding her shotgun level. Big Macintosh stares at her in total disbelief and Rainbow quickly adopts a defensive ninja position (scattering the photos she had). All three and said photos are now slightly blood-splattered.
Rainbow: Whoa, whoa, whoaaa!
Macintosh: Whoa Nelly.
Ditzy: What? It was obvious! *ejects empty shell* She’s the RED Spy! Watch, (camera switches to a close overhead view of Ditzy/Macintosh approaching Rarity’s corpse (back legs)) she’ll turn red any second now. (Beat. Ditzy nudges a leg with her shotgun) Aaaany second now…
Cut to a small close-up of Ditzy and Macintosh. Ditzy looks like she solved something big. Rainbow is hanging back for some reason…
Ditzy (continued): See? Red! Oh, wait, that’s blood…
Zoom in on Rainbow, who’s approaching them. Her walk is a little bit different from what it would normally be. Back view of her right hoof (with the other two and the bloodstains still visible) as she takes out the closed butterfly knife over this line.
Macintosh: So, we still got a problem, then.
Front view of Rainbow’s hoof. She opens and readies the still-bloody knife with unusual dexterity…
Ditzy (voice): A big problem.
Cut to a close front view of Ditzy and Macintosh. “Rainbow,” now on her hind legs, sneaks up behind them, raising the knife. Over Ditzy’s line, she returns to her true form in a burst of smoke and awesome-looking ripples (almost like heat distortion).
Ditzy: All right, who’s ready to go find the Spy?
Other-Rarity angles her knife so that it reflects some fluorescent light for just a moment.
Other-Rarity: Right behind you, darlings.
Ditzy and Macintosh: *turn around a bit* Ahh!
<Outro features sounds of other-Rarity stabbing her unfortunate victims on beat with the music. Once the logo’s finished…>
A sweet little instrumental tune starts playing. Close up of the photos, which have formed a small pile on the floor. Other-Rarity’s hoof brushes away the steamy ones and grabs the one of them in a parking lot. MS of her, kneeling. Her face softens adorably as she looks at the picture.
Other-Rarity: Ah, ma petit chou. *tucks the photo inside her suit*
Fade to black as she stands up to leave, carrying the BLU intelligence on her back.
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